After lots of time spent thinking of how to report on our amazing vacation, I have opted to just post lots of pictures on the flickr site. There is way too much to say... mostly along the lines of "Disney World is awesome", which sounds kind of lame and "ohmygod my kids are totally grown up". Then I could talk for hours on how much I ate while I was there and how being in a maternity bathing suit is the most humiliating experience ever. I will spare everyone with those silly complaints - and instead I'll whine and moan about Myles' busy schedule. I knew this spring would be tough hours for him, but I forgot how bad BAD really is.
So much of my life has turned back in to basic survival skills - those skills that got me through a couple of winters in Burlington with little babies - counting hours, killing time, reminding myself that things will get better if I'm just patient and make it to bedtime. Ruby and Eloise are tremendous and easy and this pregnancy is a breeze - but the baby is a MOVER. Considering that my uterus was stretched out with 12 pounds of baby before, Pickle has plenty of room to torment me at odd hours. My best description would be trapping a rodent in a pillowcase... and well, swallow that. A rodent noodling around in your abdomen! Pickle wakes up with Myles at about 4:45 AM and doesn't quit moving until I start walking around downstairs. I don't sleep anymore and I have 3 more months of this business. Either I have severe sleep depravation or a case of the nasty hormones right now.
Example: my late afternoon sticky-ass burning hot vanilla latte slides off the dashboard when myles accellerates out of a parking space -and it splashes all over my legs and feet. Suede shoes and freshly painted toenails covered in crap, car mat and floor soaking... I manage to make it home without really losing my shit, but then I go to get a pair of fresh jeans out of the dryer. Ugh. They barely zip up - or better yet - they barely fit over my thighs. I am a fat beast. Mortified that I have gained so much weight in the last 2 hours, I resort to the bathroom where I whimper and sulk and want to scream. All I want is the fucking latte.
This being said, I'm embarassed that this blog was supposed to concern Ru and El's monumental third birthday. Perhaps I'll redeem myself in another post!
Monday, April 02, 2007
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Ru and Kaiah
Saturday afternoon we went to our friend Kaiah's third birthday party. The entire time Eloise kept refering to Kaiah as "Hazel" - which is adorable. Hazel and Kaiah have a birthday 2 days apart, and they have some similar features... is there any truth to astrological predictions of physique? I mean, Capricorns are known to have trouble with their feet and knees, and we are supposed to have high foreheads too. That's totally me.
I think my forehead is getting bigger every day actually. Along with my nose.
I think my forehead is getting bigger every day actually. Along with my nose.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
superhero(s)
There are days when I really do feel like Wonderwoman (minus the skimpy outfit, cape and nifty accessories). Today was one of those days when I managed to do all things mommy with what feels like the strength and endurance of "daddy". The daddy was yet again on 24 hrs at the hospital, and the girls and I took a trip out to lunch with family friends in Milton. My folks came along and we had such a delightful spread of food - quiche, greens, soup, bread, cheese, olives, wine, champagne. Ruby and Eloise sat like big girls at this lovely table, silently dipping their bread in soup, eating broccoli quiche and diligently munching around olive pits. They used their napkins, they toasted gently with water glasses and even managed to ask "may I be excused?". Then they skibbled off to play with their farm animals on the floor while I got to eat my fill and talk to grown ups about movies. When this type of stuff happens I'm able to recognize how important my mommy skills have been. I hate thinking of the endless days when I think I'm going to explode if I have to give another fucking "Time Out" or negotiate a sharing brawl or explain the importance of good manners and kindness. But I've learned that if I handle those crazy days well, decent child behavior and a moment for me to enjoy time with other adults will result.
After lunch we walked down the street and fed some carrots to a couple of horses, then we went back to my mom's house to relax and play. The girls ate an early dinner, got some jammies on and fell asleep while I drove home. Here's where I start to feel kinda beat: I pull the car in the driveway, take one sleeping girl out, hobble up the stairs, fumble for house keys in the dark, place girl on the couch, run back out to get the second sleeping girl, take her up to her bed and tuck her in, then head down to get the couch girl and repeat the tucking in process. I organize all the recycling, put out the trash, pick up the toys, put away the dishes and collapse on the couch with the clicker. Pickle starts bonking around in my stomach and I am reminded that I'm pregnant - and lonely. Although I'm excited to have the bed to myself on nights like these, I can't say I dig having the girls come in my room about 2 times (four total) each. I just end up shuttling them back to their beds, but FUCK that's tiring. I feel like I don't really sleep. And the house seems so empty with just the three of us snoozing in it. (So, to the real single moms out there, you are some serious superheros.)
Most days DON'T go smoothly for moms. We are under-rested, rushed, emotional and fairly unrecognized or appreciated for our efforts. Our job is never over. (I feel like I've seen a corny needlepoint that reads, "A mother's work is never done" and I call that phrase up in my mind whenever I do a load of laundry or put away the dishes.)
So how do I manage my life? What keeps me going? Well, I guess it's days like today. They are my long overdue paychecks.
Now back to watching the Oscars...
After lunch we walked down the street and fed some carrots to a couple of horses, then we went back to my mom's house to relax and play. The girls ate an early dinner, got some jammies on and fell asleep while I drove home. Here's where I start to feel kinda beat: I pull the car in the driveway, take one sleeping girl out, hobble up the stairs, fumble for house keys in the dark, place girl on the couch, run back out to get the second sleeping girl, take her up to her bed and tuck her in, then head down to get the couch girl and repeat the tucking in process. I organize all the recycling, put out the trash, pick up the toys, put away the dishes and collapse on the couch with the clicker. Pickle starts bonking around in my stomach and I am reminded that I'm pregnant - and lonely. Although I'm excited to have the bed to myself on nights like these, I can't say I dig having the girls come in my room about 2 times (four total) each. I just end up shuttling them back to their beds, but FUCK that's tiring. I feel like I don't really sleep. And the house seems so empty with just the three of us snoozing in it. (So, to the real single moms out there, you are some serious superheros.)
Most days DON'T go smoothly for moms. We are under-rested, rushed, emotional and fairly unrecognized or appreciated for our efforts. Our job is never over. (I feel like I've seen a corny needlepoint that reads, "A mother's work is never done" and I call that phrase up in my mind whenever I do a load of laundry or put away the dishes.)
So how do I manage my life? What keeps me going? Well, I guess it's days like today. They are my long overdue paychecks.
Now back to watching the Oscars...
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Pickle
About a month ago my dad asked the girls what their new brother or sister should be named, and Ruby answered, "Pickle". Eloise chimed in, "No, Lily." And my dad followed with "Lily Pickle Webster - what a good name!"
So let me fill you in on Mr./Ms. Pickle - what a busy little creature it is. At this point in my pregnancy I think Pickle should be weighing in at close to 1 pound and a bit over 10 inches long, meaning any movement it makes is very noticeable and distracting. Yesterday was the first day Pickle decided to kick near the cervix (those of you who have felt this know exactly what I'm talking about) and make me wince. It's not that it hurts, but more that it's really disturbing. Like your baby could kick it's way out if it wanted to... and you have to clench your buttcheeks together. I know this falls under the category of Too Much Information, but I feel I owe it to Pickle to remember what he/she was like in utero - because you forget. Nature has that figured out perfectly... you forget all the crummy sensations associated with carrying a child so your body gets excited to go through it again. I remember vague things about the extremes of my pregancy with Ru and El, but their movements were such a jumble and I couldn't tell what was going on. With this one, I know where to prod and feel the little butt sticking up. Myles enjoys pressing my stomach excessively and making Pickle scramble around. Isn't that terrible?
Normally I lose connection with Pickle during the day. Yesterday while the girls were at school I ventured to the mall to try on some hideous springtime maternity wear. Some Latino dudes mumbled, "What's up Hot Mama?" behind me on the escalator. Amazing. HOT MAMA. I nearly died of embarassment - I finally understand that I look pregnant to the general public. (Like the snugness of my underwear didn't alert me to this already.) A similar thing happened when I went to the market and was standing in the checkout line and I realized I had forgotten my wallet in the car. The checkout woman said, "go ahead, take your time", and I RAN back to the car to fetch it. Upon my return she said, "Wow. That was fast for a pregnant lady." (PREGNANT LADY! Oh yeah, I'm with child. Remember?)
Now I want you readers to envision me doing the high-speed pregnant shuffle across the icy parking lot in completely impractical shoes.
So let me fill you in on Mr./Ms. Pickle - what a busy little creature it is. At this point in my pregnancy I think Pickle should be weighing in at close to 1 pound and a bit over 10 inches long, meaning any movement it makes is very noticeable and distracting. Yesterday was the first day Pickle decided to kick near the cervix (those of you who have felt this know exactly what I'm talking about) and make me wince. It's not that it hurts, but more that it's really disturbing. Like your baby could kick it's way out if it wanted to... and you have to clench your buttcheeks together. I know this falls under the category of Too Much Information, but I feel I owe it to Pickle to remember what he/she was like in utero - because you forget. Nature has that figured out perfectly... you forget all the crummy sensations associated with carrying a child so your body gets excited to go through it again. I remember vague things about the extremes of my pregancy with Ru and El, but their movements were such a jumble and I couldn't tell what was going on. With this one, I know where to prod and feel the little butt sticking up. Myles enjoys pressing my stomach excessively and making Pickle scramble around. Isn't that terrible?
Normally I lose connection with Pickle during the day. Yesterday while the girls were at school I ventured to the mall to try on some hideous springtime maternity wear. Some Latino dudes mumbled, "What's up Hot Mama?" behind me on the escalator. Amazing. HOT MAMA. I nearly died of embarassment - I finally understand that I look pregnant to the general public. (Like the snugness of my underwear didn't alert me to this already.) A similar thing happened when I went to the market and was standing in the checkout line and I realized I had forgotten my wallet in the car. The checkout woman said, "go ahead, take your time", and I RAN back to the car to fetch it. Upon my return she said, "Wow. That was fast for a pregnant lady." (PREGNANT LADY! Oh yeah, I'm with child. Remember?)
Now I want you readers to envision me doing the high-speed pregnant shuffle across the icy parking lot in completely impractical shoes.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Audubon Walk
Minus our trip to Burlington a couple weekends ago, we have been really house-bound and stir-crazy. I've started to feel like a bad mom for keeping us inside so much, but I haven't had the energy or enthusiasm for much of anything. The weather is too cold to have fun outside when there's NO SNOW. NO SNOW! This is just odd for me, especially after seeing the great pictures from my VT pals, smothered in white with their snowsuits and burly boots. So when we had Myles home for the day I dragged him out of the house to the Audubon Society in Bristol, RI, hoping to find something beautiful and fun for the family, or at least to find a change of scenery.
In a very brief period of time I learned that I'm a lame-o for not exploring more. This state is tiny, and mostly surrounded by gorgeous water. After wandering around the Audubon Ed Center and looking at all the fish and creepy taxedermy, we headed out on a trail that took us over the wetlands and out to the ocean. It was so beautiful that I had to keep lifting my sunglasses up to check and see if it was real - everything was crisp and vibrant and energizing! When we neared the beach, without even seeing it Eloise said, "I smell the water." Genius! There it was just around the bend, gleaming and twinkling... but when was the last time we were anywhere near the ocean, and how the hell did Elo remember what it smells like?
As we walked (El and Ru running and stomping) over this beautiful boardwalk I knew I was having one of those special family moments that I would keep in my head forever. The last time I can remember feeling like that was about 2 years ago when we took the girls out in the stroller onto frozen Lake Champlain... you can't get those images out of your head when the experience has been so good! (Are these the things that flash back to you when you're dying?)
Ruby and Eloise were incredible, trekking rather far (I thought) without complaint of tiredness, and I had visions of us enjoying many new adventures all over the world. We are so much more portable than we used to be. Oh, yeah... there's another kid coming... but really, ONE BABY? Please. Unless this kid comes out wired like a maniac, I think we can handle it without a problem. I love looking back at the adjustments I had to make in my thought processes over the last three years - all the sacrifice that I had to come to terms with, all the stressors I had to meet in the face and eventually decide to ignore, the feelings of self-loathing and self-doubt that I have wrestled to the ground. I know more than ever that I'm good mom, and adding a third kid seems like it will put my skills to the test in the best ways.
Now if I could only get us out of the house faster...
In a very brief period of time I learned that I'm a lame-o for not exploring more. This state is tiny, and mostly surrounded by gorgeous water. After wandering around the Audubon Ed Center and looking at all the fish and creepy taxedermy, we headed out on a trail that took us over the wetlands and out to the ocean. It was so beautiful that I had to keep lifting my sunglasses up to check and see if it was real - everything was crisp and vibrant and energizing! When we neared the beach, without even seeing it Eloise said, "I smell the water." Genius! There it was just around the bend, gleaming and twinkling... but when was the last time we were anywhere near the ocean, and how the hell did Elo remember what it smells like?
As we walked (El and Ru running and stomping) over this beautiful boardwalk I knew I was having one of those special family moments that I would keep in my head forever. The last time I can remember feeling like that was about 2 years ago when we took the girls out in the stroller onto frozen Lake Champlain... you can't get those images out of your head when the experience has been so good! (Are these the things that flash back to you when you're dying?)
Ruby and Eloise were incredible, trekking rather far (I thought) without complaint of tiredness, and I had visions of us enjoying many new adventures all over the world. We are so much more portable than we used to be. Oh, yeah... there's another kid coming... but really, ONE BABY? Please. Unless this kid comes out wired like a maniac, I think we can handle it without a problem. I love looking back at the adjustments I had to make in my thought processes over the last three years - all the sacrifice that I had to come to terms with, all the stressors I had to meet in the face and eventually decide to ignore, the feelings of self-loathing and self-doubt that I have wrestled to the ground. I know more than ever that I'm good mom, and adding a third kid seems like it will put my skills to the test in the best ways.
Now if I could only get us out of the house faster...
Resting
The colors on this walk have been stuck in my head for the last 48 hours. (Does anyone know what I mean by having colors stuck in your head?)
Flower Power!
This Friday evening a bunch of the ladies from my sister's bridal party took a trip to the dress shop, where Eloise and Ruby got to try on some too-big Flower Girl samples. They could not have been happier - which actually came as a surprise to me. Although Elo usually demonstrates the most enthusiasm for frilly girlie things, Ruby seemed equally pleased to look like a little princess. Of course my entire family was exploding with oohs and ahs as the girls twirled around and even tried to put on the strappy high heels lying on the dressing room floor. When she wasn't looking, I caught Eloise posing in the mirror, floating her arms up and down like a butterfly, spreading her tiny fingers out delicately. I love spying on them now when they are doing self-conscious kinds of things.
The evening culminated in a yummy dinner in Boston's North End - where Ruby decided to announce in a loud voice "my bum hurts" over and over. (She had just taken a superior poop in the ladies bathroom...)
The evening culminated in a yummy dinner in Boston's North End - where Ruby decided to announce in a loud voice "my bum hurts" over and over. (She had just taken a superior poop in the ladies bathroom...)
Elo in Charge
Eloise wanted Ruby to follow her direction and pose for photos rather than spend time looking in the mirror.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Audrey and El
Look at Eloise's face here - it speaks volumes about how highly she regards Audrey! Look at her legs stretched out, feet flexed with happiness. Audrey, we miss you already!!!
Audrey & Girls
A couple of weekends ago our most loved "nanny" from Burlington came to visit us. She is more than just a nanny though... what an excellent friend - an incredible human. We had so much fun showing her around Providence, eating good food and catching up. Only Audrey can get Ru and El to sit still for braids...
mystery baby
Yesterday we had our big monumental ultrasound and there is indeed a baby in my tummy. With all of the distractions of everyday life I seem to forget I'm pregnant most of the time, and I feel sorry that the little critter doesn't get the in-utero attention it deserves. Now if that's not enough, I decided not to find out the sex! I never thought I could restrain myself from blurting out "WHAT IS IT?" while lying there, but I was so nervous that they would tell me it was another girl and I wouldn't be as elated as I should be. I kept my mouth shut.
If I can get the scanner functioning I'll post some of those alien ultrasound shots. Unfortunately you won't get to see a view of the legs or feet, because they wouldn't show us that angle - in case Myles could tell what to look for between the thighs!
If I can get the scanner functioning I'll post some of those alien ultrasound shots. Unfortunately you won't get to see a view of the legs or feet, because they wouldn't show us that angle - in case Myles could tell what to look for between the thighs!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Psycho Ruby
She has made this face since she was 10 months old! I hope it never leaves her... besides, wouldn't you be this excited if you were wearing a crown of pink tulle?
Glasses and Jammies
Kathleen and Jim came to visit a couple of weekends ago and the girls thought they were special trying on their glasses. Notice the pigtails - which they call "puppy ears"...
LAZY!
I wish I had a decent excuse for not blogging regularly. I not only want to keep you all informed and entertained, but I also want to give myself a theraputic moment to digest all that's gone on in my brain. Even if this venue doesn't seem appropriate for sorting things out, it occasionally works wonders for my psyche! But today I realize I haven't blogged because I like television too much and I am just beat at the end of the day to try to process anything - even the silly and trivial shit that makes people laugh. I am REALLY an unhealthy person... I can't seem to muster up energy to read decent books, I crave trashy magazines (some things never change) and bad reality tv. And I actually like reading good books. Oh, and I like to cook delicious food, but I haven't managed to make anything out of the ordinary or decent in what seems like months. A while back Myles said to me, "Remember when you used to make yummy dinner stuff like roast chicken? What ever happened to that?" I had to laugh because roast chicken was apparently a more "upscale" version of my cooking - and the reality is that roasting a chicken is about as complicated as following the directions on the back of the box of Annie's Shells and Cheddar.
So, I feel like a beast. Savage moments... scraping by financially, emotionally, maternally. It's all pretty overwhelming. And how the weeks seem to fly by now that we have school, swim class, story hour and an occasional "Dad Day". I look forward to those "Dad Days" like you wouldn't believe. I'm almost ashamed about how eager we all are to spend time with him. Talk about savage though - I think Myles has forgotten how to do a dish, fold clothes and pick up after himself. His Daddy skills are surpassed by none though, and I guess that should suffice.
I should mention that my girls are pretty much potty trained now. YAAAAAY! We still put them in pull-ups at night, but only due to my laziness. I think once I start waking up every 3 hours to pee (you know, when my uterus is the size of a watermelon), I'll take them for a middle of the night pee and just try to keep them in undies for bedtime. Today we went to the mall and visited the bathroom 3 times in 2 hours. The entire business of potty trips takes a total of 10-15 minutes each time. I have given up on handwashing because it takes too long... and I caved in and bought a bunch of travel-sized Purell instead. What's going to happen when I have to pee more often than they do? I'm not conjuring up a pretty picture of our outings.
Perhaps I have a second to post some photos. You deserve these pics loyal readers. My girls are growing into such wonderful little ladies!
So, I feel like a beast. Savage moments... scraping by financially, emotionally, maternally. It's all pretty overwhelming. And how the weeks seem to fly by now that we have school, swim class, story hour and an occasional "Dad Day". I look forward to those "Dad Days" like you wouldn't believe. I'm almost ashamed about how eager we all are to spend time with him. Talk about savage though - I think Myles has forgotten how to do a dish, fold clothes and pick up after himself. His Daddy skills are surpassed by none though, and I guess that should suffice.
I should mention that my girls are pretty much potty trained now. YAAAAAY! We still put them in pull-ups at night, but only due to my laziness. I think once I start waking up every 3 hours to pee (you know, when my uterus is the size of a watermelon), I'll take them for a middle of the night pee and just try to keep them in undies for bedtime. Today we went to the mall and visited the bathroom 3 times in 2 hours. The entire business of potty trips takes a total of 10-15 minutes each time. I have given up on handwashing because it takes too long... and I caved in and bought a bunch of travel-sized Purell instead. What's going to happen when I have to pee more often than they do? I'm not conjuring up a pretty picture of our outings.
Perhaps I have a second to post some photos. You deserve these pics loyal readers. My girls are growing into such wonderful little ladies!
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Mom turns 31...
Sorry I've been so out of touch (to all 8 of my blog readers), but we just ended our bout with a 2.5 week cold from hell. How did we end up with twins who have asthma? It's really exhausting to say the least.
When I have more time I promise to post some more pictures and give y'all a better update on our lives... and maybe I'll show you my new belly!
When I have more time I promise to post some more pictures and give y'all a better update on our lives... and maybe I'll show you my new belly!
Saturday, December 16, 2006
en fuego
I love this shot of Myles' stinky toes warming up by our little fireplace. It makes his feet look so much nicer than they really are...
No, actually, the real reason I'm posting this is because I'm so happy to have a home where we can get cozy by a fire. The girls love it, Myles loves it, and I've taken to building fires - even when it's 55 degrees.
No, actually, the real reason I'm posting this is because I'm so happy to have a home where we can get cozy by a fire. The girls love it, Myles loves it, and I've taken to building fires - even when it's 55 degrees.
The Charlie Brown Tree
We didn't pick this one, but it was much adored by the girls... and after this photo, both of them peed in their pants.
Christmas Tree Chopped!
We are alive here in Providence, just busy as hell. It seems as though there aren't enough days to fit in all the fun and family and gift making that I originally planned. Honestly, it will be a miracle if I ever get the holiday cards happening... sorry gang. It might have to be a New Year's card, or better yet, a Valentine. I just got through making the cookies and I'm having a hard time not eating about 10 in a row...
Monday, November 27, 2006
One Bun
It really is only one bean in my uterus. My doc gave me a quickie ultrasound the other day just for fun and to set my mind at ease that I wasn't going to go through the twin thing again. Hooray! I've also been prescribed ginger and vitamin B6 for nausea and it's working really well. I must admit I was skeptical about herbs and vitamins... but what a difference. Now if only they'd prescribe me some speed for lack of energy, then I'd be just about normal.
Lots going on these days... We're trying to take a trip to NYC for a couple of days while Myles has a light schedule (Central Park Zoo, Natural History Museum, old friends, Magnolia Cupcakes and new shoes in order). I'm really excited. I don't think I've been to the city in a year and I miss it like hell.
I need to write out Ru and El's applications to private schools, register our car, get new plates, get new insurance, have the couch slip-covered because it's hideous, and sew about 12 curtains for the house. (Now that the leaves are off the trees nobody needs to see my pale naked ass scampering around our house. Besides, we have lived here for about 6 months now.)
Off to put the girlies to bed. And yes, it's after 10 pm. They love to stay up late now...
Lots going on these days... We're trying to take a trip to NYC for a couple of days while Myles has a light schedule (Central Park Zoo, Natural History Museum, old friends, Magnolia Cupcakes and new shoes in order). I'm really excited. I don't think I've been to the city in a year and I miss it like hell.
I need to write out Ru and El's applications to private schools, register our car, get new plates, get new insurance, have the couch slip-covered because it's hideous, and sew about 12 curtains for the house. (Now that the leaves are off the trees nobody needs to see my pale naked ass scampering around our house. Besides, we have lived here for about 6 months now.)
Off to put the girlies to bed. And yes, it's after 10 pm. They love to stay up late now...
Friday, November 17, 2006
Blog-a-putic
Here's my therapy for the moment: listing what appeals to me in the food department.
plain bagels, toasted. Gobs of cream cheese.
Total Greek yogurt (full fat) with the honey cup thingy on the side
honey roasted peanuts
honey nut cheerios
extra painful sharp cheddar with stoned wheat thins
cold cold cold apple cider
clementines
fresh pineapple chunks, close to frozen
ramen noodles
poached eggs on an english muffin
hot chocolate (for the afternoon pick-me-up it's good to resort to an old fave)
plain croissants from Seven Stars Bakery
apples (honeycrisp, granny smith)
pressed cuban sandwiches (for those not in the know: ham, cheese, mayo, mustard, pickle, on sweet white bread)
Annie's shells and white cheddar, plenty of ketchup for dipping (don't ask...)
EGG SALAD SANDOs with extra mayo on a baguette
and last but not least, if I"m feeling really brave I'll eat broccoli soaked in soy sauce. But I don't think it's about the broccoli. Something about that soy flavor makes me want to lick the bowl...
Tomorrow I'm going to find myself some really tart lemon sorbet. Actually, if Myles wasn't at work right now, I'd be sending him to the market for just that - or maybe Edy's lime popsicles. YUM! That's it. I knew this brainstorming would result in a groundbreaking flavor... LIME. Real lime though, not like the green gummy bear lime. Maybe there's a lime in my fridge? I'd make a phony lime-ade with sugar and seltzer.
It's pretty pathetic that this is the only stuff I can think about right now, but if I'm not on top of the food cravings, then the nausea sets in and I'm stuck with crackers and pretzles for the next few hours. The intensity and specificity of flavor during pregnancy is truly overwhelming for me - I mean, I can get pretty hyped up about food when I'm not pregnant - but this is like I'm on a special mission to find those "just right" things. As dorky as this sounds, these feelings are so primal and desperate even. For example, when I'm tired and I need to sit down, there's no, "okay, I'll just wait 'til I get to the car". Instead it's "I NEED TO SIT DOWN NOW and I'll do anything including getting down on the floor if that's my only option". Now, with that being said, throw 2 two-year olds into the mess (and they're pretty primal too, for those of you without kid exposure) and you've got 3 really grumpy people trying to get along. Oh wait, I shouldn't forget the fourth person: the completely over-tired and over-worked stressed-out surgical intern (also prone to primal urges that are only deemed acceptable in the comfort of your own home).
I'm trying to hold it all together one bite at a time.
plain bagels, toasted. Gobs of cream cheese.
Total Greek yogurt (full fat) with the honey cup thingy on the side
honey roasted peanuts
honey nut cheerios
extra painful sharp cheddar with stoned wheat thins
cold cold cold apple cider
clementines
fresh pineapple chunks, close to frozen
ramen noodles
poached eggs on an english muffin
hot chocolate (for the afternoon pick-me-up it's good to resort to an old fave)
plain croissants from Seven Stars Bakery
apples (honeycrisp, granny smith)
pressed cuban sandwiches (for those not in the know: ham, cheese, mayo, mustard, pickle, on sweet white bread)
Annie's shells and white cheddar, plenty of ketchup for dipping (don't ask...)
EGG SALAD SANDOs with extra mayo on a baguette
and last but not least, if I"m feeling really brave I'll eat broccoli soaked in soy sauce. But I don't think it's about the broccoli. Something about that soy flavor makes me want to lick the bowl...
Tomorrow I'm going to find myself some really tart lemon sorbet. Actually, if Myles wasn't at work right now, I'd be sending him to the market for just that - or maybe Edy's lime popsicles. YUM! That's it. I knew this brainstorming would result in a groundbreaking flavor... LIME. Real lime though, not like the green gummy bear lime. Maybe there's a lime in my fridge? I'd make a phony lime-ade with sugar and seltzer.
It's pretty pathetic that this is the only stuff I can think about right now, but if I'm not on top of the food cravings, then the nausea sets in and I'm stuck with crackers and pretzles for the next few hours. The intensity and specificity of flavor during pregnancy is truly overwhelming for me - I mean, I can get pretty hyped up about food when I'm not pregnant - but this is like I'm on a special mission to find those "just right" things. As dorky as this sounds, these feelings are so primal and desperate even. For example, when I'm tired and I need to sit down, there's no, "okay, I'll just wait 'til I get to the car". Instead it's "I NEED TO SIT DOWN NOW and I'll do anything including getting down on the floor if that's my only option". Now, with that being said, throw 2 two-year olds into the mess (and they're pretty primal too, for those of you without kid exposure) and you've got 3 really grumpy people trying to get along. Oh wait, I shouldn't forget the fourth person: the completely over-tired and over-worked stressed-out surgical intern (also prone to primal urges that are only deemed acceptable in the comfort of your own home).
I'm trying to hold it all together one bite at a time.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
In Hiding...
This has gotten pretty pathetic - I've neglected to say anything interesting about our lives these days. I figure the pictures say enough, mostly, but if I want to be honest, let's just say I'm exhausted.
Well, no actually, to get specific about the exhaustion, I'm really just pregnant.
(Only 8 weeks gang, so don't get too excited. But craving Cuban pork sandwiches and fighting nausea here and there should prove that this little bun is warming just fine.)
If one more person says, "are you sure it's just one in there this time?" I might have to punch them. I'm making the assumption that I don't feel nearly as crummy as I did with Ru and El in the first trimester, so the hormones can't be double, right? We don't have an ultrasound until 20 weeks I guess - which should be kind of a bummer considering we got to see the girls in my tummy at EVERY doc's visit. So we'll do the old fashioned guess work and look at my weight and measurements in the meantime.
More later. Have fun digesting this information and conjuring up images of what my life will look like with 3 (or 4 if you include Myles) children to take care of...
Well, no actually, to get specific about the exhaustion, I'm really just pregnant.
(Only 8 weeks gang, so don't get too excited. But craving Cuban pork sandwiches and fighting nausea here and there should prove that this little bun is warming just fine.)
If one more person says, "are you sure it's just one in there this time?" I might have to punch them. I'm making the assumption that I don't feel nearly as crummy as I did with Ru and El in the first trimester, so the hormones can't be double, right? We don't have an ultrasound until 20 weeks I guess - which should be kind of a bummer considering we got to see the girls in my tummy at EVERY doc's visit. So we'll do the old fashioned guess work and look at my weight and measurements in the meantime.
More later. Have fun digesting this information and conjuring up images of what my life will look like with 3 (or 4 if you include Myles) children to take care of...
Belated Halloween
Here they are, the famous cheetah and jaguar in full excitement. Would you be surprised to know that Eloise (on the right) is still very happy to be wearing her costume around town for fun?
Friday, October 27, 2006
Frenchie Outfits
When my mom goes all out and gets cute things, she really nails it. These hats and jackets cannot be worn without a gazillion compliments from random strangers. But I must admit, I'm getting a bit tired of telling people that I don't know where my mom got them...
Nature Moment
The best thing about living in Providence is living so darn close to my mom. We can just shoot over to her house and lie in her most perfect lawn, pick flowers and eat yummy meals (that I don't have to cook!). My mom's house also holds the world's most sought after vintage toy -
"Bug World" by Playschool. I can' t find another one of these things to save my life. Ebay-ers be on the look-out - I'll pay over $200 for another Bug World... but it must have all 3 little rubber bugs and decals intact.
Sorry I just nerded out and talked about vintage toys. But due to Bug World's insane popularity amongst all children, Ru and El are always entertained at my mom's place for hours. They cry when we leave.
"Bug World" by Playschool. I can' t find another one of these things to save my life. Ebay-ers be on the look-out - I'll pay over $200 for another Bug World... but it must have all 3 little rubber bugs and decals intact.
Sorry I just nerded out and talked about vintage toys. But due to Bug World's insane popularity amongst all children, Ru and El are always entertained at my mom's place for hours. They cry when we leave.
Lunch on Thayer
Here's a shot taken by our house guest Ellen. We all treated ourselves to an enormous slice of chocolate cake on a beautiful afternoon. It's nice to have someone else around to document me and my little bears. A change of camera perspective is nice.
A Day in the Leaves
When Myles hangs with the girls, he often doesn't put them in proper clothes... hence the p.j.'s in the yard for leaf raking. I love this picture! Pure joy...
Little Miss Hat
El just loves this look. Whenever she sees a Red Sox hat she says, "Look, that guy is wearin' a Pawsox hat". Aw... isn't that cute? I've produced a little Rhode Islander in just a few months.
Scrotal Cat
This is what happened to Miguel when we got his mats shaved off. He looked pink and his stomach resembled a set of testicles. Poor thing. He thinks he's so handsome now!
Thursday, September 28, 2006
just browsing
A historical moment captured at the Providence Place mall: estranged husband and wife browsing spiffy computer features at the new Mac store while children are at school.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
The Fiesta Begins
So Lyllah wears a mexican hat better than anyone. Really... who looks good in a mexican hat? Lyllah does. What that says about her, I'm not completely sure, except that I know it's a positive attribute. We (her most annoying friends) managed to keep her 30th birthday party a secret for a long time. Here she is with her beloved Ricky, sharing a mango margarita... or something like that.
My mom let me drive her brand new Mini Cooper S to the party, and since Myles wasn't feeling so well, I stayed over for the night. I laughed and danced and hoola-hooped more than ever. We played blow-pong and Flip Cup. I think I'm a Flip Cup expert actually... and I managed to see 2 butts and one naked person. We even made it to bed before midnight... considering the party started at 3pm.
Having a night that lets you forget about being a parent is SO rewarding. It's almost like giving your brain a full tank of gas and an oil change. Read on...
My mom let me drive her brand new Mini Cooper S to the party, and since Myles wasn't feeling so well, I stayed over for the night. I laughed and danced and hoola-hooped more than ever. We played blow-pong and Flip Cup. I think I'm a Flip Cup expert actually... and I managed to see 2 butts and one naked person. We even made it to bed before midnight... considering the party started at 3pm.
Having a night that lets you forget about being a parent is SO rewarding. It's almost like giving your brain a full tank of gas and an oil change. Read on...
Jerry's Masterpiece
Ly's dad showed up for her surprise 30th birthday all the way from California... and grilled up most of a cow and pig for the party. It was completely delicious. I felt like I was in Kitchen Stadium.
Yeah.
This was the kind of night we were having... Annika wears this suit almost better than Neil. Almost. Sorry I didn't capture the beer and wine stains on camera... they complete the effect in a subtle way.
Mill-ball and the Goat
Here's Myles about to sneeze on a cute little goat. This farm in Brattleboro is so amazing... really it's a petting farm where you can hang with all of their baby animals and play with a bunch of farm related toys. On weekends you can feed bottles to their calves. It's called Retreat Farm I believe, and if any of you are in southern VT you should stop by there for a visit.
Kath and the Girls
On our little trip to Brattleboro (our first time back in VT since we moved) we feasted on plenty of tiny tomatoes from Kathleen and Jim's garden. I thought everybody's raincoats looked nice in the green grass...
Some time after this, the severity of Ruby and Eloise's colds got worse and we ended up at the hospital dosing them with albuterol again. If I could only manage to bring the fucking nebulizer on our vacations we would have saved ourselves a serious hassle. Poor Eloise though, her oxygen sats were down pretty low and we ended up putting her on the oral steroids again. Oh well. They are all feeling much much better... and guess what? I managed to escape getting sick. Myles suffered through his vacation week with a horribly clogged nose, phlegm, sneezing, etc. Better luck next time Webster family!
Some time after this, the severity of Ruby and Eloise's colds got worse and we ended up at the hospital dosing them with albuterol again. If I could only manage to bring the fucking nebulizer on our vacations we would have saved ourselves a serious hassle. Poor Eloise though, her oxygen sats were down pretty low and we ended up putting her on the oral steroids again. Oh well. They are all feeling much much better... and guess what? I managed to escape getting sick. Myles suffered through his vacation week with a horribly clogged nose, phlegm, sneezing, etc. Better luck next time Webster family!
Ru's Work #1
I turned around one morning to see Ruby perched on a kitchen stool, drawing the most expressive orange faces. Enjoy!
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Letting Go
Our school visit was a total success - despite Ru and El's apprehension about entering the classroom to peek around. Once we were in there, they didn't want to leave! The teachers left really adorable "goody" bags with symbolic treasures on each student's coat hook. The bag had a little list of how the things inside would help the kids learn about their new classroom. So fucking cute that I will write it out for you:
Stickers- to remind you that we all stick together and help eachother
Puzzle piece- to remind you that you are needed to make our class complete
Cotton ball- to remind you that our class is full of kind words and warm feelings
Apple- to remind you that we will learn something new each day
Eraser- to remind you that we will all make mistakes and that is okay
Ugh. And to top it off, the teachers prepared a little gift for parents to take away. On the outside of the package it read:
"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children: one of these is roots, the other is wings."
Our gift was a pack of tissues!
My eyes are swelling with tears as I'm writing this... it's ridiculous. My entire life I have fought the onset of corny crying, probably because I spent years watching my mother weep while watching television. I'll never forget the night she was sniffling and tissue-ing through a fucking USA Network re-run of "Quantum Leap". It made me ill. I connected this silly display of emotion with weakness - and I guess I still do. Over the course of these years my ability to fend off crying has become a natural instinct. I know just how and when to shut the door on my feelings so they don't come pouring out my eyeballs. You should have seen me on my wedding day... the tears were there, ready to pop out, but I blinked them back like a champ. Nothing to stain my cheeks. Not a drop. (Well, I guess I should mention that my loner moments in front of a quality episode of Gray's Anatomy have not been tear-free... but NOBODY get's to watch Gray's with me. Not even Myles.)
To continue the saga, my therapist back in Burlington asked me why I wouldn't cry. I couldn't spell it out for her exactly. I still can't. It has something to do with other people seeing me in what I perceive to be a "weak" state. But recognizing how choked up I am about Ruby and Eloise setting forth into the world of learning allows me to address my emotional masquerade. What a blessing my kids are - a breath of fresh air, that crisp chilly air, like when you leave the windows open on a too-cold night. (did I just use the word BLESSING? gross.) I can confront these very real, very sentimental sensations because the girls are in my life, and it feels good, but there is some residual pain associated with that goodness. Am I making sense?
Have you ever seen a group of kindergarteners sing holiday songs at a school recital? Those were always tough moments for me and the eyeballs! Those tiny little bodies all dressed up and organized in a line - innocently shouting out words far beyond their comprehension to a toasty room packed with devoted parents. Quality Lump-in-the-throat material. What's going to happen when those kid are El and Ru? Will I open the floodgates?
Well, let's just take it one step at a time. For now, I promise to check back after tomorrow's school "day" without mommy. And I'll be honest about me and the tissues in the car after dropping them off - if I really can loosen up and let those salty wet ones go.
Stickers- to remind you that we all stick together and help eachother
Puzzle piece- to remind you that you are needed to make our class complete
Cotton ball- to remind you that our class is full of kind words and warm feelings
Apple- to remind you that we will learn something new each day
Eraser- to remind you that we will all make mistakes and that is okay
Ugh. And to top it off, the teachers prepared a little gift for parents to take away. On the outside of the package it read:
"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children: one of these is roots, the other is wings."
Our gift was a pack of tissues!
My eyes are swelling with tears as I'm writing this... it's ridiculous. My entire life I have fought the onset of corny crying, probably because I spent years watching my mother weep while watching television. I'll never forget the night she was sniffling and tissue-ing through a fucking USA Network re-run of "Quantum Leap". It made me ill. I connected this silly display of emotion with weakness - and I guess I still do. Over the course of these years my ability to fend off crying has become a natural instinct. I know just how and when to shut the door on my feelings so they don't come pouring out my eyeballs. You should have seen me on my wedding day... the tears were there, ready to pop out, but I blinked them back like a champ. Nothing to stain my cheeks. Not a drop. (Well, I guess I should mention that my loner moments in front of a quality episode of Gray's Anatomy have not been tear-free... but NOBODY get's to watch Gray's with me. Not even Myles.)
To continue the saga, my therapist back in Burlington asked me why I wouldn't cry. I couldn't spell it out for her exactly. I still can't. It has something to do with other people seeing me in what I perceive to be a "weak" state. But recognizing how choked up I am about Ruby and Eloise setting forth into the world of learning allows me to address my emotional masquerade. What a blessing my kids are - a breath of fresh air, that crisp chilly air, like when you leave the windows open on a too-cold night. (did I just use the word BLESSING? gross.) I can confront these very real, very sentimental sensations because the girls are in my life, and it feels good, but there is some residual pain associated with that goodness. Am I making sense?
Have you ever seen a group of kindergarteners sing holiday songs at a school recital? Those were always tough moments for me and the eyeballs! Those tiny little bodies all dressed up and organized in a line - innocently shouting out words far beyond their comprehension to a toasty room packed with devoted parents. Quality Lump-in-the-throat material. What's going to happen when those kid are El and Ru? Will I open the floodgates?
Well, let's just take it one step at a time. For now, I promise to check back after tomorrow's school "day" without mommy. And I'll be honest about me and the tissues in the car after dropping them off - if I really can loosen up and let those salty wet ones go.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Chicken Soup with Stars
"Back to reality...". We are home, the evenings and mornings are cool and I made some chicken soup with stars for our mommy/kid dinners. They just love to dip bread in the broth - such a novelty for them. I'm excited to be home again to cook good fall meals. I'm happy to say that tomorrow is the first day "visit" to Montessori school for Ru and El, and then they start up for real on Thursday. I'm anticipating that the 2.5 hours that they spend there will be dreamy for me. In preparation for this extra "free time" I took a moment to set up my attic studio... sort of. It felt nice to have my own secret hidey spot with all of my crap lying around me. To honor the moment, I finally hemmed a pair of my favorite jeans after about a year of cuffing them (now I only have 3 more pairs to go). May I say that they look stunning on me now? No more dragging the bottoms on the cement.
Send me your long jeans everyone - or the ones that gap at the waist and expose your butt-crack. The tailor is in.
Send me your long jeans everyone - or the ones that gap at the waist and expose your butt-crack. The tailor is in.
Beach Buddies
Honestly this day at the beach was so perfect it would make the average, 1st time Nantucket visitor puke. Thankfully I get to experience these kinds of days at least once a summer.
I do believe the days are a bit richer in emotional content than they used to be though. Observing my kids as they play and discover new things makes me ache with nostalgia; all the while they build those sparkly memories... those memories that we refer back to in March of the following year, the memories that make us return to this crazy island in the middle of the sea.
When I was 3 years old I told my dad that I liked looking at the "cracklies and goldens" in the ocean.
I still do.
I do believe the days are a bit richer in emotional content than they used to be though. Observing my kids as they play and discover new things makes me ache with nostalgia; all the while they build those sparkly memories... those memories that we refer back to in March of the following year, the memories that make us return to this crazy island in the middle of the sea.
When I was 3 years old I told my dad that I liked looking at the "cracklies and goldens" in the ocean.
I still do.
Elo's Moment
Elo has a knack for appearing like she knows way more than we give her credit for as a 2.5 year old. In this photo, I'm imagining that she is having deep intellectual thoughts.
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