As I just typed the title out I felt my heart get huge. I can hear it throbbing in my head now and my toes feel numb.
I'm not being fair to myself by never writing about how difficult my relationship with Myles happens to be. Plenty of you readers know some of our struggles... you know how we have operated as a unit for about 12-13 years now... but with all this moving around and child-keeping, we have suffered. It's a horrible horrible sad reality that I am completely terrified to address in any real way. I am not really honest with YOU about how much I hurt on a daily basis, I am not really honest with Myles about how icky I feel about us, I am not really honest with my children (actually, I try to keep them from any emotional turmoil, which is neither honest nor real) and most importantly this means I am not honest with myself.
I started some therapy the other day, which has sparked this particular blog. It has some potential to cause MAJOR DISASTER for me.
For us.
So I'm attempting to be honest. Just a little bit. And then maybe you will have to read between the lines in the entries down the road.
Or it will all get juicier.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
WARNING!
This photo tells the story of my life right now. Penelope does absolutely everything to ensure she's in danger at all times. Looking for a bee at the bottom of a water-filled bucket... can you say "drowning hazard"?
Yesterday she fell off of 3 different chairs in the kitchen and took a spill down our cement front steps. I guess that's better than the time she fell backwards from the large boulder in our driveway and landed with her diaper-butt stuck in a rodent hole. No injuries thus far... but with a pediatric resident as father I have been convinced that a trip to the E.R. should follow shortly.
Oh, and HUGE photo upload at my Flickr site... click on the Penny pic here and it should take you there. View the slideshow titled VT Fall 2008 if you have a minute or two. You are so jealous that you don't live here. New England Paradise... complete with tempting apples.
Yesterday she fell off of 3 different chairs in the kitchen and took a spill down our cement front steps. I guess that's better than the time she fell backwards from the large boulder in our driveway and landed with her diaper-butt stuck in a rodent hole. No injuries thus far... but with a pediatric resident as father I have been convinced that a trip to the E.R. should follow shortly.
Oh, and HUGE photo upload at my Flickr site... click on the Penny pic here and it should take you there. View the slideshow titled VT Fall 2008 if you have a minute or two. You are so jealous that you don't live here. New England Paradise... complete with tempting apples.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Ms. Martin
Ly. You are truly amazing. I know this is quite possibly one of the craziest shots I've ever taken of you (save for one or two "playing dead" pics from Idaho Camping Trip 1991), but it just speaks volumes.
First of all, there's an accessory on your head. Then there's the fact that you are on a ride on lawnmower (confirming your love of sterotypically male power tools/objects), and the story behind your pond... which you are afraid to mow close to for fear of falling in. Now, how could I ever forget that this was taken on the day that my daughter Ruby barfed all over the back seat of my minivan... I mean blew chunks of the grossest possible vomit everywhere... and you single-handedly cleaned it up without a complaint, like it was something you did often and even enjoyed. I'm thrilled that I managed to get a photo in before that drama unfolded. Good story to share for years I'm sure.
Well, to finish up, I am really indebted to you forever. I'm trying to figure out what it is I should do to repay you for your kindness and support. How cool is it that I finally have one of my oldest friends living only 20 minutes away? And who else would let my kids pour their own maple syrup and put gummi bears on their pancakes?
I hope you don't hate me for making this shot moderately public. I'll manage to convince you that such a visual masterpiece only comes in the most special of situations.
I love you to pieces.
First of all, there's an accessory on your head. Then there's the fact that you are on a ride on lawnmower (confirming your love of sterotypically male power tools/objects), and the story behind your pond... which you are afraid to mow close to for fear of falling in. Now, how could I ever forget that this was taken on the day that my daughter Ruby barfed all over the back seat of my minivan... I mean blew chunks of the grossest possible vomit everywhere... and you single-handedly cleaned it up without a complaint, like it was something you did often and even enjoyed. I'm thrilled that I managed to get a photo in before that drama unfolded. Good story to share for years I'm sure.
Well, to finish up, I am really indebted to you forever. I'm trying to figure out what it is I should do to repay you for your kindness and support. How cool is it that I finally have one of my oldest friends living only 20 minutes away? And who else would let my kids pour their own maple syrup and put gummi bears on their pancakes?
I hope you don't hate me for making this shot moderately public. I'll manage to convince you that such a visual masterpiece only comes in the most special of situations.
I love you to pieces.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Hello, is it me you're lookin' for...
To my loyal peeps... I will try really hard to get my act together and post pictures, but for now my spanking new computer in the basement won't give me decent wireless connection, so uploading is impossible.
Busy times upon us all right now. Myles seems to be working constantly - meaning I'm "working" twice as hard too. With the crisp fall air and the surreal colors of the leaves all around our home, my head is spinning. I find myself at a loss for words. I'm busy making food again... pies are next on the list. Already tackled chicken soup.
Penny is 15 months as of yesterday.
Honestly, I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the concept of my family and what it all means.
I'll try to write more. And more often.
P.S. What are you doing to ensure that Obama wins in November? We don't want to wake up on Nov. 5th with a nasty dose of McLame lovers rejoicing, do we?
Busy times upon us all right now. Myles seems to be working constantly - meaning I'm "working" twice as hard too. With the crisp fall air and the surreal colors of the leaves all around our home, my head is spinning. I find myself at a loss for words. I'm busy making food again... pies are next on the list. Already tackled chicken soup.
Penny is 15 months as of yesterday.
Honestly, I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the concept of my family and what it all means.
I'll try to write more. And more often.
P.S. What are you doing to ensure that Obama wins in November? We don't want to wake up on Nov. 5th with a nasty dose of McLame lovers rejoicing, do we?
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