Wednesday, June 27, 2007

To the Beach!

Originally uploaded by mollieholliday
No, we haven't made it out to Nantucket yet, but we did take an adventure out to a pretty decent Rhody beach on Monday. This is the only open-eyed picture I got to capture - little Ruby enjoying her time in the sand, poking beach trash into a sculpture.

Myles is home and not working for the week (and potentially just going to hang in there with the Ortho research) and we are sweating it out with the fans and the kid pool most of the time. Ru and El have 2 more days left of Montessori Camp (boo!) and I have 1 more day left until my due date. This is not the weather to be THIS pregnant in! Gross. I'd like a personal fan for my crotch and under my boobs. (Speaking of crotches, Ruby came home from camp with a cool little sponge shaped like a bug, which she referred to as a "crotch roach". I laugh out loud even thinking about it... crotch roach. When she said that, I responded: "No, I think a crotch roach is something very different.")

As for my medical situation, my doctor has agreed to check my progress on Monday morning and if my cervix is still closed and posterior we will begin a pitocin induction on Monday night - that is, if I'm up for it. Otherwise she'll let me hang in there a bit longer and wait for natural labor to begin. The baby isn't in any danger, in fact, it's thriving with a happy heart rate. That probably has something to do with the number of disgustingly fattening meals I keep eating... ice cream, onion rings, chicken fingers, chocolate milk. I'm even going to head out to world's most spicy Indian restaurant for lunch. But besides the healthy baby in me, I'm not doing so well with the stress of being pregnant. I just suck to be around and I'm pretty frustrated that I have 2 very important weddings to go to in July. Somehow those events have made me really impatient to meet the baby and I'm not really willing to be such a warrior and wait for the real contractions to come.

But we shall see... maybe I'll wake up on Monday and feel as if I can be patient for what the greater powers have in store for the new Webster's astrological chart - in which case you get to wait even longer for cute baby photos and a detailed labor story!

(I'm SO going to the mall for the air conditioning this afternoon.)

Thursday, June 21, 2007

So You Think You Can Dance

Does anybody watch this show on Wednesday and Thursday nights like I do? Oh my. It's 1,000 times better than American Idol, but with the same format. Crazy talented dancers compete for America's votes while we get to listen to an incredibly sassy and offensive panel of judges. So You Think You Can Dance. Amazing. And a new season of Top Chef immediately following at 10 pm. Ugh. I'm such a slave to my television at the end of the day. Other than that it's Netflix movies for the summer.

I recently rediscovered the actual newspaper - not just my TimesSelect Online subscription. But will they ever manufacture a newspaper that doesn't get ink all over your fingers? Maybe it's just because I have sweaty pregnant lady hands, or maybe it's because I have sunblock residue on my fingertips (I get the paper and a coffee right after I drop the girls off at camp for the morning... so I have to cover them in stinky SPF 45 before they go) but I actually get annoyed by my newspapery black inky hands. I'm sure it doesn't help my complexion either... because guess who's always touching her face and scratching her nose?

This is Myles' second to last night of call before the END of his surgical intern year. He's on again on Saturday, and then we party... and I stress out a little because I don't know if he's going to really go through with his Ortho research for the year. He has recently disclosed his interest in taking the summer off to study for Step 3 (med licensing exam) and then looking for moonlighting opportunities in and around here and Boston. His new direction is anesthesiology - which thrills me to no end - but I'm feeling really frustrated that he didn't approach this earlier. I'm not really in a good mental place to be supportive of random career choices, even if they are ultimately better for our family in the long run. I know Myles is frustrated with my negative response to his decision and I'm having a terrible time of being nice. I don't want to make the discussion all about me... but motherfucker! I'm due with a baby in 7 days and I'm dealing with the already irritating phenomenon of the disappearing pseudo contractions that never amount to anything. Even I hate me right now - so don't throw me any curveballs, right?

Why can't this just be smooth and easy? I'm so happy being in Providence and I'm not really prepared to make any big changes in the next 2 years as far as location is concerned, but this will have to happen once he figures out where to continue his residency. Maybe if I had some real sense of our family's future I'd finally relax and let the baby out. I mean, aren't you all waiting for some new adorable baby photos and to see what mysterious name Myles has picked out? And is it a boy or a girl? The suspense is killing me.

Off to eat some ice cream... then to restless sleep.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Waiting at the Finish Line

Originally uploaded by mollieholliday
Myles ran in the Milton Road Race again this year, and I curiously forgot to take any pictures of his sweaty, healthy being sprinting towards the finish. Instead I grabbed this great shot of how helpful grandparents can be when you have kids who are tired of standing up.

After a visit to the doctor on Thursday it was determined that I am not actually dilated at all... which many loving kind women have told me means NOTHING as far as when you will really go into labor. I'm pretty sure I'm in for the long haul here, especially considering that I made it this far with twins and they still wouldn't come out even with the induction! Eleven more days until the due date...

I go from feeling extremely antsy and annoyed at being pregnant, to being completely content with whatever time frame this baby wants to work with. It's damn uncomfortable though when the weather gets this hot.

Here's what's yummy: gazpacho and ceviche. I suggest you go make some right now...

Saturday, June 09, 2007

nothing new

I really wish I had something interesting to share with everybody - something monumental like a new family member, a fresh insight on parenting, even another cute photo would be nice... but I have NOTHING. Just a giant belly. I was looking at that picture of myself from last week and I know I'm even larger than that. Seven days and that many more nutrients packed into this little being inside of me. This very moment I'm restraining myself from eating an entire jar full of my mom's spiced almonds and the rest of a cinnamon bun. I have already consumed a bowl of oatmeal and an almond croissant. Oh this poor baby.

Last night I was fantasizing and longing for the sensation of sleeping on my stomach. I'd love to just roll from one side of the bed clear to the other side... roll roll roll. But for now the options are: right side or left side with a brief stopover on my back to register how uncomfortable that is. And I'd love to have a regular sized pee - a pee long enough to make me feel like my efforts to get to the bathroom were worthwhile. Wait, have I ever mentioned how difficult it is to pee in that fucking cup at my doctor's appointments? You try aiming piss in a tiny container when you can't see your vagina... let alone reach it!

Tomorrow we are hosting a bridal shower for my pal Lyllah at my mom's house. My mom and I have been cooking a bunch of labor-intensive asian foods while the girls play with all of my toys left over from the 80's. It's actually been kind of pleasant because Myles is on call and my dad is in Virginia racing cars. Just us ladies doing lady-ish things. My mom made the observation that our houses are remarkably cleaner and we get more things done when our husbands aren't around. No pubes on the bar of soap and no dishes in the sink!

Perhaps I'll post some photos of Ly's shower if I manage to remember to take pictures...

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Stealing Glasses - Again!

Originally uploaded by mollieholliday
Last weekend we headed out to Nantucket in order to kick off Myles' vacation week and I got a chance to capture my girls in full silliness while they romped around the yard with the sprinkler. I HIGHLY recommend heading to my flickr photos to see just how funny this series of photos turned out. Ruby looks tremendous in my Marc by Marc sunglasses, and Eloise is a picture of intellectual cuteness in my mom's purple wire-rims. In fact, if they ever had to wear glasses I'd choose this wire-rim look for them in a second.

Both girls begin "camp" for the month of June on Monday. 4 hours a day, 5 days a week! What the hell am I going to do with myself? I can't possibly keep up with this organizational garbage - or my home will be devoid of all characteristic mess and clutter!

I can't believe how grown up Ruby and Eloise have gotten in recent weeks. It's wildly disconcerting - because it's like I'm hanging out with someone else's children. They tell me all sorts of amazing facts, they catch me on various "fibs" that I might be utilizing (i.e., "mommy, you said there wasn't any bread left for french toast but I see a whole loaf in the corner over there...", they remind me what I need to buy at CVS ("Don't forget the toothpaste. We need new toothpaste."), they comfort one another and have amazing empathetic "twin" moments, and they managed to have their blood drawn without crying. (I was dreading the 3 year old lead screening because of Providence's ancient lead pipes...). Oh, and I'm going to jinx myself tonight by saying this, but they haven't peed in their beds in weeks! They wake up to tell me they need to go to the bathroom... I never EVER could picture what it would look like to have completely potty trained children, but VOILA! What a luxury.

Mamma Bird

Originally uploaded by mollieholliday
My sweaters. My neatly folded, color-coded, hand-washed, sun-dried wool sweaters. Now they lie packed in an anally prepared "under bed bag" with a cedar insert. I've offically lost my mind for all things that can be ORGANIZED. If you could bottle the hormone that makes pregnant ladies feel this incredible urge to "NEST" (ugh. I said it. "Nesting" is one of those maternity terms that I can't stand.) then I think you could prescribe it to all the college students that can't figure out how to finish a project or clean their dorm rooms. What I wouldn't have done to feel this motivated when I was 19!

The nesting instinct aside, I thought it was pretty hysterical to see the cohesive tonality in my sweater collection. Although I have about 25 more to wash, I can assure you they look almost exactly the same in color selection. Discovering that I really do have a stylistic preference when it comes to color shouldn't be a surprise to me, but seeing it all laid out nice and neat gives it more impact.

Which reminds me, I only have about 3 tank tops and 2 skirts that I can fit my large self into - and it's getting disgusting. Hopefully I won't add too many more grease stains to those cherished items in the next 4 weeks and passers by won't have to wonder about that poor poor overly pregnant and slobby lady with twins.

Phat Mamma: 36 Weeks...

Phat Mamma: 36 Weeks...
Originally uploaded by mollieholliday
This might be the only pregnant Mollie shot that I offer up to my viewers. I should thank my mommy friend Jennifer for capturing the dramatic profile... with cookie nugget in hand, poised and ready to stuff it in my face. Note the box full of extra cookies from Dunkin' Fucknuts on the table behind me. (They are surprisingly tasty cookies. Seriously.)

The real reason I'm posting this to you folks: I'm miserable and uncomfortable! The Pickle has dropped lower since this photo was taken and I'm feeling it tearing my pubic bones apart. I have all sorts of funny Braxton-Hicks contractions that I never experienced with Ru and El and I can practically get my fingers around various baby body parts when I feel my belly because my uterus is stretched so thin. Sometimes I think I can even see the baby through my paper-like skin. I have no "pelvic floor" muscles left, but I still do my best to walk like a normal person. Poor Pickle's head will most likely emerge in a dramatic cone shape... especially if I manage to have the elusive VBAC.

Oh the VBAC... will you all send your collective vibes to my uterus and tell it to do the things it's supposed to this time? I'm pretty convinced everything will go as planned and I'll be able to deliver naturally, but a little loving energy from you all might help in the long run. That and a few more cookies and milkshakes.