Saturday, November 10, 2012

Sucker Is Broken

Why blog?  Why bother?  Why write?  

Okay, I admit I have a problem of getting bored easily and this medium continually loses its appeal.  Blogging used to be a bit of therapy, a bit of a rush (ah, to self-publish and say "look at me!") and ultimately a way for me to share my new maternal world with my faraway friends.  Precisely one year ago I  mentioned that Facebook Kidnapped My Mojo (if there was any mojo to begin with - it was brief), and I think ultimately that holds true today.  I just can't kick the habit FB habit, despite the nasty ways FB has changed it's interfaces, how the ads are infiltrating my "newsfeed", and how I no longer manage to handwrite letters, or even call people on the "land line".  

Long ago there was a funny thing called Time... I used to know it well.  We were good friends and we got in SO much trouble together - like when we would stay up all night eating candy and finishing a take-home exam.  Or when we would totally ignore responsibility and bonk our boyfriend silly into the wee hours of the morning.  Yeah.  Time and I were tight.  I mean, we fought and all.  Like during my freshman year in college when I was all pissed off about how Time wouldn't add an extra day of the weekend for me (I wanted an 8th day desperately and Time said, "Sorry muthafuckah!" and laughed while I could barely wake up on Mondays).  I'm still having trouble forgiving Time for holding my twins in my uterus for 38.5 weeks - making me so sick - but perhaps that was really a blessing.  After having two infants, Time decided to warp itself - A LOT.  Payback... for not using Time effectively. 

In the eight years since my babies were born, we have gone from a world with some social media, to a world where not having social media in your pocket might seem empty or extremist.  (If you have not picked up a copy of "Hamlet's Blackberry: Building a Good Life in the Digital Age " by William Powers, I highly recommend it.  It touches on all of these points that I'm making really...) Today I am struggling to find that perfect balance for my kids (totally impossible) where they get just enough screen time, and just enough play time to make them decidedly "normal" - whatever the f that means.  

Actually, wait.  I'll be totally honest.  Screen time is pretty much my money in the bank for bribery.  It's like allowance money - do your part to help out in the house and you get your screen reward.  Ugh.  How did I become such a bore? 

I get antsy and irritated thinking about the responsibility of continually changing passwords and parental controls... and staying ahead of kid pace.  My brother warns me that middle school with girls is difficult to navigate, with continual texting and all kinds of social garbage that makes me feel gross just imagining it.  To make matters worse, the head of our kids' school just told us that by 2014 they plan to make the 5-12th grades BYOD (Bring Your Own Device): laptop or tablet to "enhance the modes of learning and sharing in the classroom".  I'm still thinking about my TI- 81 Graphing Calculator from 1993 that had such nice buttons to press... (Cue music: "Memory" from Cats.)

So why the smashed lollipop?  

It's a visual poem I wrote about damaged, sweet, beautiful things in the sunshine.