Monday, September 19, 2011
We took a leisurely neighborhood stroll today - Penny on her Skuut, and me in my wildly uncomfortable new shoes. I decided to ditch looking through my camera viewfinder because the more I think about what I'm trying to capture exactly, the lamer my photos seem to become. And what a great metaphor for my life right now. The harder I try to frame some aspect of my life's direction, the less attainable it gets.
Recently I have given up a whole bucketload of material desires - mainly a giant house with 4 bathrooms and 10 acres of land - for a pared down rental with one bathroom to split between our family of 5. This process of moving for the 4th time in 7 years has aged me exponentially, but it has given me more wisdom than ever on the impermanence of everything. I have had to abandon a lot of those visions of what I hoped my life would look like as a middle aged woman... seriously. The dream did NOT resemble this! Thankfully I have been given an extraordinary education, a generous extended family and healthy children. I can generate and appreciate new perspectives on just about anyone and anything these days, which gives me the little crumbs of energy I need to make it to bedtime.
(Yes, I said crumbs.)
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Where does the time go? I have been a bit obsessed with this notion of time warping recently. Two weekends ago seemed like the longest 3 day vacation I can remember. Last weekend seemed like a blink.
And I can't even recall what happened yesterday.
Hormones? Amnesia? Alzheimer's? Technology? I'd love an explanation or something to point a finger at, but the best I can come up with has more to do with the natural aging process. My little twins are now riding bicycles. They have to study for spelling quizzes. They throw around sarcastic comments about their parents. And my baby is 4. She thinks she is a professional dancer and can shimmy like J Lo. I have absolutely NOTHING to do with it.
So I observe my girls a lot more carefully these days and finally understand those parents who seemed over the top with their emotional sensitivity to their kids... (Believe me. I spent a lot of time making fun of them. I just never got it until now.) Childhood innocence has the slowest, yummiest perception of time. And just to make more sense of the photo, I remember my friends telling me they had never eaten homemade beets. How about growing your own, harvesting them with your kids and cooking them? It's all completely possible AND you might even have fun in the process. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't actually take that long, unless you think the earth isn't moving at the right pace anymore (which could also be possible... but that's another post for another day).
PRESENCE. PERSPECTIVE. PERCEPTION.