Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Sandy Cracks

We took the girls on their first real beach visit - you know, with bathing suits, sunblock everywhere, sun hats and a picnic snack. It was HILARIOUS. The water is a bit too cold for even toddlers to love, I think. They seemed so timid about getting wet and were confused about the sand sticking to everything. The pails, shovels and watering can were a huge success though. Such entertainment! Getting to the beach and back, however, seems to involve a "staff" of people... thank god for my sister and my mom. I bet we'll be experts by the end of July.

So, I think this day was a huge eye opener in many ways. We have so much to look forward to with Ruby and Eloise loving Nantucket. There's just a ton of stuff to learn about and love here. Motor boats versus sailboats, playgrounds, big kids and taking turns, new friends, sand in all it's varieties, shells, stones, pebbles, seaweed, why you don't drink salt water, soggy diapers, naked swimming, hermit crabs, seagulls and why you don't feed them, beach grass, tick checks, sunsets, the moon at night and the moon in the day, campfires, roasting marshmallows and Downyflake doughnuts. Lots of "firsts" this summer.

Cousin Stephen and Blythe joined us for breakfast - their treat! So really, Stephen, you can get credit for getting my girls hooked on world's most divine doughnuts (unquestionably the best ever)! Ruby took one bite and made her goofy excited face, fists clenched and everything. She ate the whole thing saying mmmmmm and quivering. Eloise liked the doughnut too, but I have to admit, by the time she was eating it, I was up and chasing Ruby around the restaurant and I missed viewing her "experience". Gwennie fed her bacon though... also a success. Long live the Pork Product!

I can't wait for Myles to get here so he can dig huge holes in the sand and throw the girls in. He really is such a fun dad - like I sort of wish he was lame and boring so Eloise and Ruby wouldn't dig him so much - not because I'm jealous or feel like he'll sabotage my discipline (although that's probably inevitable too) or anything - but because I just feel sad that they totally adore him. It sucks to feel like he's missing all of these cool moments in his kids' lives now - and it makes me think about how he'll know them in all the years to come. I wonder if he understands just how much they love him. Every morning since I've been here, I go in to get them in their cribs and they say "MOMMY!" and then Eloise goes: "Daddy?" It breaks my heart . They are just so goddamn clever. HA!

Ew, so on a totally different note, I just have to comment on my new sensation wearing a bathing suit. Because I feel relatively unsexy in my one-piece number, (because I'm pretty much the same weight as I was before I had the babies but everything has relocated and taken on a different "texture") I've decided that there's just no sense in really really getting worked up about it. I decided that I have to believe that I look good. In the grand scheme of things, I'm fucking lucky as hell to be healthy and strong. I don't have 30 pounds to lose or any muscle that I need to build. I need to be psyched about what I've got because there is just no other option. I see my family members and friends constantly putting themselves down regarding how much weight they've gained here and there - how they need to eat more protein or how much they've been excercising. It drives me fucking crazy. No, really, let me say that again: comments about weight and physique drive me INSANE. I wish I could never ever talk about it again as long as I live. The only thing we should be concerned about is our overall health and what delicious things we can eat to maintain our longevity. I know the next big fad in weight loss will be the "eat a little bit of everything" diet and I'll be pissed that I didn't write the book myself. BTW, did you know that Hellman's Mayonnaise advertises itself as having 0% carbs? NO FUCKING WAY!!! Mayo... no carbs?? I'm hooked. Sign me up for the Hellman's diet plan. And while you're at it, can I have some eggs with a side of lard? ... because that doesn't have carbs either.

What I was originally getting at though is that I have a funny new way of dealing with my body and how to dress it. It's not the same, but I'm not going to hide my belly forever. It is what it is. But where do you draw the line between owning your sexy body and being a confident woman (i.e., saying fuck you to all the skinnies and obsessives out there), and looking downright gross bulging out of places here and there? A choice of clothing makes a huge statement, no?

Discuss. Please.

No comments: