Tuesday, September 13, 2005

heh.


PICT0126
Originally uploaded by mollieholliday.
I've been missing from computer land for many reasons, one of which involves how much fun we have been having (see photo of Ru sneaking under the table for example...), the other reason being how much pain and emotional distress I have been suffering.

Sometimes I lie awake at night wondering what the fuck I'm doing living in my parents house, stressing over my husband's career indicision, obsessing over my girls, missing my friends... and regretting some major life choices. All I can really do is laugh about how my current situation reflects an "I told you so" that I told MYSELF. In many ways I really just wanted to be a mom, and a really really good one. But I do struggle with the issue that I never completely pursued the other things that I was good at, or that I liked before I had kids... so at this point I realize that I short changed myself. Everybody tells me that I will have time for my career once my kids are older - and I know that can be part of my vision for the future - but being a mom will always be my priority. And considering my incredible inability to finish a task.... Yikes. And what if Myles does land an Orthopaedics residency somewhere? And what if he doesn't? Perhaps now my dilemma becomes more clear.

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