Minus our trip to Burlington a couple weekends ago, we have been really house-bound and stir-crazy. I've started to feel like a bad mom for keeping us inside so much, but I haven't had the energy or enthusiasm for much of anything. The weather is too cold to have fun outside when there's NO SNOW. NO SNOW! This is just odd for me, especially after seeing the great pictures from my VT pals, smothered in white with their snowsuits and burly boots. So when we had Myles home for the day I dragged him out of the house to the Audubon Society in Bristol, RI, hoping to find something beautiful and fun for the family, or at least to find a change of scenery.
In a very brief period of time I learned that I'm a lame-o for not exploring more. This state is tiny, and mostly surrounded by gorgeous water. After wandering around the Audubon Ed Center and looking at all the fish and creepy taxedermy, we headed out on a trail that took us over the wetlands and out to the ocean. It was so beautiful that I had to keep lifting my sunglasses up to check and see if it was real - everything was crisp and vibrant and energizing! When we neared the beach, without even seeing it Eloise said, "I smell the water." Genius! There it was just around the bend, gleaming and twinkling... but when was the last time we were anywhere near the ocean, and how the hell did Elo remember what it smells like?
As we walked (El and Ru running and stomping) over this beautiful boardwalk I knew I was having one of those special family moments that I would keep in my head forever. The last time I can remember feeling like that was about 2 years ago when we took the girls out in the stroller onto frozen Lake Champlain... you can't get those images out of your head when the experience has been so good! (Are these the things that flash back to you when you're dying?)
Ruby and Eloise were incredible, trekking rather far (I thought) without complaint of tiredness, and I had visions of us enjoying many new adventures all over the world. We are so much more portable than we used to be. Oh, yeah... there's another kid coming... but really, ONE BABY? Please. Unless this kid comes out wired like a maniac, I think we can handle it without a problem. I love looking back at the adjustments I had to make in my thought processes over the last three years - all the sacrifice that I had to come to terms with, all the stressors I had to meet in the face and eventually decide to ignore, the feelings of self-loathing and self-doubt that I have wrestled to the ground. I know more than ever that I'm good mom, and adding a third kid seems like it will put my skills to the test in the best ways.
Now if I could only get us out of the house faster...
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